What is Self-Esteem?

Most people’s feelings and thoughts about themselves can change depending on what is going on for them on a daily basis. The grade you get at school, how your friends treat you, ups and downs in your romance, all can have a temporary impact on your wellbeing.

Your self-esteem is more than the normal “ups and downs” associated with daily life. Self-esteem is a person’s sense of personal value or worth. It also involves how people see themselves, which in turn influences their motivation, attitudes and behaviour throughout life. Healthy self-esteem is important for emotional well-being and it is helpful in achieving life goals.

Where Does Self-Esteem come from?

Our self-esteem develops throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem.  When we were growing up, our success (and failures) and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches and by our peers all contributed to the development of our basic self-esteem.

Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can be damaging because it can affect a person’s body, mind and spirit. Low self-esteem has been associated with a wide array of problems including low academic or career achievements, teenage pregnancy, violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, depression, anxiety disorders and suicide.

Experiences that can lead to low self- esteem

• Being harshly criticized
• Being yelled at
• Being badly treated
• Being ignored, ridiculed or teased
• Being expected to be “perfect” all the time
• Experiencing failure
• Death in family

Healthy Self-Esteem

Self-acceptance is crucial for developing a healthy self-esteem. People that believe in themselves and have a positive outlook in life are also more likely to have healthy self-esteem and generally, also tend to be happier. Before you can begin to improve your self-esteem you must first believe that you can change it. Change doesn’t necessarily happen quickly or easily, but it can happen. You are not powerless.

Experiences that can lead to a healthy self-esteem

• Being praised
• Being listened to
• Being spoken to respectfully
• By focusing on the positive parts of your life
• Getting positive attention
• Experiencing success
• Having trusting relationships and friends

Steps you can take to a better self-esteem:

Acknowledge with yourself when you have tried your best

Treat yourself as a worth while person

Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise

Plan fun and relaxing things for yourself

Tell yourself “Well done” when you have achieved something for example past an exam or your driving test

Get help from others

Getting help from others is often the most important step a person can take to improve his or her self-esteem, but it can be the most difficult. Here are some ways to get help from others:

• Ask for support from friends
• Ask for help and support from your teachers or other important people in your life
• Talk to a counsellor

*Talking to a counsellor is a good way to learn more about your self-esteem issues and is a good beginning to improving your self-esteem

No matter how you may be feeling remember that there is always someone there who can help:

Samaritans

Telephone listening service, totally confidential, covering any subject of concern you may have.
24 Emotional Support
Tel: 1859 60 90 90
Email: io@samaritans.org
Web: www.samaritans.org